toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
