so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
