i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
