He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i came on her dog
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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