very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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