you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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