READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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