Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
