Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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