There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
