So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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