i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
