I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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