It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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