What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
