Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
