So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
