Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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