Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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