Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
