happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
