I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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