So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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