I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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