ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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