ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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