found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
