he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
