in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
