Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
