What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize