Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
