Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
