Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
