Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
