just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
