drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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