and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
