Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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