I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
