So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
