Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
