god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
