So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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