I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
