So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
