yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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