So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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