I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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