i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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