You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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