dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
