hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
