Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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