I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
