I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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