i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
