trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
