sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He did a backflip because drugs
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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