This girl is more easily done than said...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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