So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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