i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
