You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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